Recent Comments

1. about 9 hours ago on La Cucaracha

   Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for students in grades five through 12, putting the separation of church and state to the test. The Onion shares some of the ways schools are changing their curriculum.

   Updating the periodic table of chemical elements to include “Jesusonium.”

   Banning murder and adultery in schools.

   Requiring students to yell the “under God” part of the Pledge of Allegiance.

   Covering way more incest in sex ed class.

   Adjusting dress codes to include year-round open-toe sandal wearing.

   Streamlining woodshop options to “table,” “ark,” or “cross.”

   Including Bible-inspired exercises in gym class, like flee-the-Jew and stone-the-idolater.

   Renaming all 272 high school football teams “the Crusaders.”

   Emphasizing the importance of shunning lepers in health class.

   Performing frog crucifixions in biology.

   Instituting a Christmas break.

2. 1 day ago on La Cucaracha

   . . . appointed by yet another worm.

3. 3 days ago on La Cucaracha

   To be honest, I thought her to be the megadonor awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom – remember?

   “When we gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom… It’s the equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor – it’s actually much better because everyone who gets the Congressional Medal, they’re soldiers. They’re either in very bad shape because they’ve been hit so many times by bullets or they’re dead,” Trump said during an August 15, 2024 event in Bedminster, New Jersey, referring to Israeli-American physician and Trump “megadonor” Miriam Adelson, to whom he awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2018.

   Ah yes, it was another “megadonor” – Miriam Adelson – not – Linda McMahon . . .

   Silly me . . .

4. 3 days ago on Garfield

   When I was a kid we had a tiny goldfish – for y-e-a-r-s. My uncle used to feed it crumbs of ground beef, chicken, whatever was left over from lunch/ dinner. It grew to almost 4" long – our paper boy was afraid of it.

   I recall feeling sorry for it – alone – in a large bowl – going back and forth and back and forth. Then I realized I’d spent 40+ years in an office . . .

5. 3 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   One of the last James Bond novels by Ian Fleming had Bond just getting off a 12-hour-flight to Tokyo at which time he said: “Freddy Uncle Charley Katie”.

6. 3 days ago on La Cucaracha

   If you’ve been following the (ahem) activities of South Korea and its presidential malarky in declaring martial law you’d be pleased and honored to hear one of their Members of Parliament say:

   “Democracy is strong here,” Hong said. “The military needs to listen to us, to the constitution, and not to the president.”

   Wise words.

   We won’t hear them here, will we?

7. 4 days ago on La Cucaracha

   One word: Machiavellian

   Machiavellian refers to behaviors or tactics that are cunning, deceitful, and often unscrupulous, typically associated with the political philosophy of Niccolò Machiavelli. It describes a personality trait characterized by manipulation and a focus on self-interest, often seen in individuals who prioritize power and control over morality.

8. 4 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   1. Bury me with my butt sticking out of the ground so my visitors will have a place to park their bicycles.

   2. Or cremate me. One more time for me to make an ash of myself could hardly be noticed.

   3. Just don’t donate my remains to medical science – I’ve had enough of folks laughing that my mohel used pinking shears . . . see also: “frilly dilly”

   “Always look at the bright side of life” – Monty Python (Eric Idle)

9. 4 days ago on Pearls Before Swine

   If you really hate someone – like an ex, for example – bury them really cheaply in a golf course you sorta own – out in the back of the pro shop – between the dumpsters and the leach field from the septic tank. But then again . . .

   It’s been done.

   Classy

10. 4 days ago on La Cucaracha

    “When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a sultan.”

    “The palace becomes a circus.” – Old Turkish Proverb